One for the weekend!!

jewel

jewel

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Julie
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Have a good weekend all, here's one to start it off with,cya!



For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it. The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"
Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage & no bike!"

Cheers,

Jewel.



:clap: :clap: :clap: :getmecoat:


__________________
 
Rofl :)

:exit:
 
haha, nice one :)
 
I like that one.. :clap:

Try this link...CAUTION.. A little bit norty... :hand:

Admins or Mods.. Please remove if not forum friendly.. ;)
 
German offers a prostitute £100 for half an hour of kinky sex.

The girl agrees but is a bit cautious when she goes back to his flat and he produces four large bed springs and a duck caller.

The German tells her to tie the springs to her arms and legs and blow the whistle as they make love.

The girl finds this very strange, but does as she is told because of the money. The sex is fantastic.

Finally she gasps: That was amazing, what do you call that?

"Ah" says the German, "Four Sprung Duck Technique".
 
when I posted this joke yesterday I thought it was Friday. You could imagine my disappointment this morning when I realised I had to do this day all over again. :doh: :dizzy: *sigh*
 
I have to admit to being slightly confused when you said that, but then I thought 'Ah, different timezone', then I realised that you're behind us so that wasn't it, but then I thought 'Ah, she's Canadian' and it all made sense....

:bum1:
 
SammyC said:
I have to admit to being slightly confused when you said that, but then I thought 'Ah, different timezone', then I realised that you're behind us so that wasn't it, but then I thought 'Ah, she's Canadian' and it all made sense....

:bum1:
Click to expand...


LOL, gee thanks Sammy! :finger3: One thing I am not is a :dizzy: Canadian. Hasnt' anyone ever had that happen to them though? Throws one right off. I didn't like that feeling at all. Guess I shouldn't complian and just thank my lucky stars I woke up this morning. :)
 
jewel said:
Hasnt' anyone ever had that happen to them though? Throws one right off. I didn't like that feeling at all. Guess I shouldn't complian and just thank my lucky stars I woke up this morning. :)
Click to expand...

Hmmmm, has nobody seen Groundhog Day? :whistle2:
 
Not such a good Movie???

It's Brilliant!

Canada - the Belgium of North America...
 
Overdoing it a bit there, Rob. The Belgians have given us nice chocolate. What have the Canadians ever given us? Other than Bryan Adams and Alannis Morrisette... :whistle:
 
Sorry, forgot the chocolate.

Canada (sorry Quebec) is also responsible for the appalling Celine Dion...:yuck:
 
I'd love to go and live in Canada. Something I've thought about many a time, not likely to happen though :(
 
My mum has a good friend who lives over in Vancouver. Apparently it's a lovely place, and has been recommended more than once! One day, maybe... not quite sure how to get citizenship though
 
I did look into it about 4 or 5 years ago.

With my quals and trades and my wifes, I think we managed enough 'points' to gain entry, but logically it would have been a nightmare. Plus I don't think I'd be able to leave my mum and sisters behind...
 
You only live once and not for you parents. Once they have gone the last thing you want to realise is that is now to late to live your dreams. ;)
 
"It's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done" ...that's what I tell the missus in the bedroom anyway ;) ....along with "Don't knock it till you tried it" :D
 
Not sure if applicable for Canadians ;)

Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
 
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