Some quotes - enjoy!

antonroland

antonroland

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These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English

language got boiled down to 4-letter words by Americans.



The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my

husband I'd give you poison,' and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'



A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.'

'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'



'He had delusions of adequacy.' - Walter Kerr



'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' - Winston Churchill



'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.' - Winston Churchill



'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.' - Clarence Darrow



'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the

dictionary.' William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?'

Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)



'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading

it.' Moses Hadas



'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.'

Abraham Lincoln



'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.'

Mark Twain



'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends'

Oscar Wilde



'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a

friend....if you have one.'

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.'

Winston Churchill, in response.



'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.'

Stephen Bishop



'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.'

John Bright



'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.'

Irvin S. Cobb



'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.'

Samuel Johnson



'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.'

Paul Keating



'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.'

Jack E. Leona rd



'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human

knowledge.'

Thomas Brackett Reed



'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.'

Oscar Wilde



'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather

than illumination.'

Andrew Lang (1844-1912)



'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.'

Billy Wilder



'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.'

Groucho
 
Probably Churchill's best, was to Bessie Braddock, when she said. "Sir you are drunk".
Churchill's reply was. "yes madam, and you are ugly, tomorrow I shall be sober".
 
Some very good ones in that list. I can never come up with an off the cuff remark as funny and instantly as some of these. I always think of something later when the time has passed and it would no longer be funny....
 
'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a

friend....if you have one.'

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.'

Winston Churchill, in response
Click to expand...

What a perfect response :D
 
Have heard most of them, and love them all -- except of course for the silly part about the Americans boiling everything down to four-letter words. :thinking:
 
cjnicolai said:
Have heard most of them, and love them all -- except of course for the silly part about the Americans boiling everything down to four-letter words. :thinking:
Click to expand...

:) you need help understanding that one? :nuts:
 
This is my favourite quote from the Interweb age

We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.
Robert Wilensky, speech at a 1996 conference
Click to expand...
 
Some excellent ones - Reminded me of another Groucho one
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Click to expand...
Paul ;)
 
cjnicolai said:
Have heard most of them, and love them all -- except of course for the silly part about the Americans boiling everything down to four-letter words. :thinking:
Click to expand...

:confused:
Knew I should have edited that part out, shamelessly copied it out of an email I got lately.

:bonk::LOL:(y)
 
Some more. By the man who is probably the greatest ever at quotes.
George Bernard Shaw.

A day's work is a day's work, neither more nor less, and the man who does it needs a day's sustenance, a night's repose and due leisure, whether he be painter or ploughman.
George Bernard Shaw
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Fashion]
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Education]
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Mistakes]
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth.
George Bernard Shaw
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Americans]
An American has no sense of privacy. He does not know what it means.There is no such thing in the country.
George Bernard Shaw
Criminals do not die by the hands of the law. They die by the hands of other men.
George Bernard Shaw
Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Democracy]
England and America are two countries separated by a common language.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [America] [England] [English]
Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.
George Bernard Shaw
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.
George Bernard Shaw
Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich--something for nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [History]
Hell is full of musical amateurs.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Music]
I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.
George Bernard Shaw
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Quotations]
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Economics]
If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.
George Bernard Shaw
If the lesser mind could measure the greater as a footrule can measure a pyramid, there would be finality in universal suffrage. As it is, the political problem remains unsolved.
George Bernard Shaw
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Family] [Dance]
Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Imagination]
Lack of money is the root of all evil.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Money]
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Death]
Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.
George Bernard Shaw
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Patriotism]
Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad.
George Bernard Shaw
Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.
George Bernard Shaw
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
George Bernard Shaw
- More quotations on: [Belief]
The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed but that he cannot believe anyone else.
George Bernard Shaw
 
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