DorsetDude
Spud
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- Keith
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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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OP
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- The real Chris
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FFS! don't start that again
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- Keith
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- Name
- Keith
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OP
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- Name
- The real Chris
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- Clive
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I was once asked "If I was a biscuit what sort of biscuit would I be?"
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- matt
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Left hand (hers) is all wrong.
Steep
Nutcrack Rapids
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- Hugh
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Gremlin
Houdini
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- Ingrid
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A young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered a butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his and asked what he was going to do about it? He said he'd offer to provide her with free meat until the boy was 18. She agreed.
The butcher had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 18 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother.
The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 18 years and watch the expression on his face!!
The butcher had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 18 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother.
The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 18 years and watch the expression on his face!!
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Ah! for the lack of "the" and much needed punctuation!
Or is that sign a twist on the sign in the pub "Free beer tomorrow"
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- Nigel
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At the funeral of a traffic warden, as the coffin was lowered into the ground a voice from inside shouted "I'm not dead, I'm not dead, let me out", the vicar smiled ,leans over the coffin lid and repies " too late mate, I've already done the paperwork".
