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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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I can relate to that!
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- George.
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A doctor walks into a room full of patients at a mental institution, takes out a pen, and draws a door on the wall. He then tells all the patients that whoever wants to escape, should use that door. Immediately they all rush towards it, but of course cannot go through. However, one patient sits still in the back with a smile on his face. He has not moved at all. The doctor thinks he must be cured. He then asks the patient why he did not rush to the door, and the patient whispers, "They don't know that I'm the one who has the key."
Tringa
Numpty of the Day'
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- Dave
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Not a joke but I found it funny.
I've just tried to get on to a forum I have been a member of for years and got this message -
Composer detected issues in your platform"
I know it was a bit sore sitting down tonight, but how did they know and who is the f**king composer?
Dave
PS Seriously, does anyone know what that message means? Are the peoeple who write the text for error messages really odd?
I've just tried to get on to a forum I have been a member of for years and got this message -
Composer detected issues in your platform"
I know it was a bit sore sitting down tonight, but how did they know and who is the f**king composer?
Dave
PS Seriously, does anyone know what that message means? Are the peoeple who write the text for error messages really odd?
ancient_mariner
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ancient_mariner
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D
Deleted member 68495
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Honestly, some people know nothing, here is the answer to your question; myself, I thought it was obvious:
Fatal error: Composer detected issues in your platform: Your Composer dependencies require a PHP version ">= 8.1.0". You are running 5.6.30. in C:\phpServer\Laravel\Project1\vendor\composer\platform_check.php on line 25 #11628
There, now you know.
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Honestly, some people know nothing, here is the answer to your question; myself, I thought it was obvious:
Fatal error: Composer detected issues in your platform: Your Composer dependencies require a PHP version ">= 8.1.0". You are running 5.6.30. in C:\phpServer\Laravel\Project1\vendor\composer\platform_check.php on line 25 #11628
There, now you know.
This reply would be much improved if you can get Kevin Eldon to read it out in a French accent.
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Three doctors are out geese-hunting. A gaggle flies over and the oncologist raises and then lowers his gun. "I better conduct an MRI first to determine if those were really geese." Some more geese fly by & the endocrinologist raises his gun and then lowers it. "I'll need some bloodwork to conduct an A1C and determine what those birds were first." Some more geese fly over. The trauma doc raises his shotgun and blows them out of the sky. "What were those things, anyway?" he asks.
D
Deleted member 68495
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I went to an acupuncturist once, and when I got home, my voodoo doll was dead!
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ancient_mariner
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ancient_mariner
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Gremlin
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A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!"
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his widow."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his widow."
ancient_mariner
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