The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Two hospital doctors were having an animated chat in a maternity hospital corridor.
"It's WHOOOM, I'm sure." said one.
"No, no, it's WHOOAM."
A hospital matron was passing and overhearing their conversation said, "Doctors, it's WOMB."
One of the doctors turned to her and said, "Matron, I doubt you ever seen a worthog, let alone heard one fart underwater!"
 
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A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."
 
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