The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

At least that chain's through a wheel!
 
failblog.cheezburger.com

Autocowrecks

Funny screen grabs of when the DUCKING auto-correct destroys the very errors it is trying to prevent.
failblog.cheezburger.com failblog.cheezburger.com
 
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTRE EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes-- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss of Identity-- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things-- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours
Class 8
Health Watch-- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost-- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live-- Basic Differences between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy-- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
 
IMG_5086.jpeg
 
Came across an interesting (and delicious, as it happens!) gastrotheological enigma the other day - the bacon bagel.
 
Nod said:
Came across an interesting (and delicious, as it happens!) gastrotheological enigma the other day - the bacon bagel.
Click to expand...
Not as odd as it might seem.

13th Century Syrians made ka'ak, which is a bagel by another name. As they were, I assume, mostly Muslim, the Bacon Surprise was probably not on their menu either. However the Poles were making Obwarzanek, yet another bagel by another name, as early as the 14th century and that's probably where the Yiddish community got the idea.

The drawback to a bacon bagle is that, while you can put a nice runny egg in with your slices of bacon, most of it will plop down the front of your shirt at the first bite. Better to stick with two nice slices of buttered white bread for that full, lunchtime of luxury dining.
 
I don't eat eggs - they bounce! Not an allergy; I'm fine with mayo, meringue and even eggy fried rice, it's just eggs as an object rather than an ingredient have an unfortunate effect on my stomach! I wish I COULD eat them but 1can live without. Helps avoid the egg banjo too.
 
Local pub does a bacon and cheese bagel to die for .
 
3b13f3a9b0b54e248b4a6fca474cb15114384a3f (1).jpeg
 
Welsh people are often referred to by their name and the thing that they do.

Like Jones the Post.

Or Davies the Butcher.

Or Edwards the Children.
 
55f3dc76d65823029a12e4eabaf5a219a76a29a7.jpeg
 
A Glasgow man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing.

"No," argues the assistant, "look at the label - it says Taiwan."
 
64157d8d58d41b1384d82b2e3f36c16dcfb63485.jpeg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top